What principles define how you live?

Having clarity about the principles that define you is an important part of staying rooted within a busy and sometimes crazy life. Although a lot of us are shaped by the experiences we’ve had, it is actually the principles about ourselves, others, and the expectation from life that truly defines us.

As a young child, I had a world of experiences that could have defined how I viewed life, people, and relationships. I came from a broken home, suffered childhood abuse, and was picked on and bullied. Those difficult and painful events could have made me hateful and judgemental. Ready to attack before I could be attacked. Instead, I remember being 8 years old and feeling sad, confused, and frustrated. I didn’t understand how people could be so careless with love and so disregarding of other people’s worth and value. I couldn’t believe that life should be that way.

As that young child, I clung to the essence of love that I carried within. I didn’t understand the totality of it. I probably still don’t. However, I always instinctively knew it’s value. For it is the principle of love, freewill, and our responsibility to others that has and continues to keep me afloat during the worst of storms. Without these defining principles, I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today.

A motto I developed years ago to help me stay rooted and aligned with this principle is as follows:

I will do my best not to be an obstacle in another’s way, as I move about this day, embracing all of the opportunity and goodness it holds within!

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

This is a tough one! I would have to say the best piece of advice I received was when I was 18 years old. It was from my Great Grandmother, and it was, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff.’ At the time, I held on and treasured that nugget of life advice, although I didn’t yet know the significance of it to my life or even how to fully apply it.

Twenty-five years later, it is sort of a life mantra of mine now. In her years of wisdom, about 90+ at that point, she understood that life is full of obstacles. The magnitude of most being within our attitude about them. When we focus on the positives and possibilities, the obstacles become opportunities, which eliminates the first layer of stress. As we move through those now opportunities, we can continue to choose to focus on the primary factors of the situation, allowing the ‘small stuff’ to fall away with grace and ease. This becomes like a natural elixir to stress.

I don’t think she knew how much the world would change from what she had known within my lifetime or how valuable this mental life approach would be. Specifically to a world full of demand, distraction, and record historical events. Unfortunately, it took my own hard lessons on stress before I grasped the meaning within that direct statement of, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff.’ However, because of my own life experience and her golden advice, I can live the second century of my life with a better ease about life and greater balance against the mechanisms that pull us into stress.

What’s your favorite time of day?

Personally, my absolute favorite time of day is the morning, specifically a couple of hours before I have to enter the hustle and bustle of life. It is where my ritualistic routine of connecting to myself, my ideas, my work, my purpose, and the intention of my day takes place. It starts with just me, my morning cup of coffee, and hopefully the sounds of the waking day (unless I beat Mother Nature to the sunrise). Then, it builds into the mindset, mood, and direction I wish to direct myself within that day. I etched this sacred space out years ago and have cherished that commitment and investment into my present and future self ever sense. I don’t think I would have been able to accomplish as much without this time and space to just be, then shape – shift – or direct that reality into what I intend it to be. Allowing for this space of sacred union between what I currently am and what I hope to be has provided me the ability to stand firm and grace-filled through all of life’s storms. It has also allowed me to overcome the various challenges within my life.

As a Coach, I think everyone should find a sacred space. A routine time of the day to step away and step within. In both life and business (two areas of coaching I focus on), the pace is fast and noisy. It is all too easy to fall off our intended or delighted path. It is equally far too difficult to stay on that narrow road when we are not careful and intentional about making our focus on it a priority. Consider making your favorite time of day a sacred space. This means it is something of value, intention, and a non-negotiable priority. It can do wonders for your resilience and success.

How do you plan your goals?

Goals are such an important and exciting part of our human experience. They are the things that unite action and passion. As a Coach, I love to teach about goals and the ways we can become more successful at achieving them.

When planning a goal, I think there are 3 key points to consider.

1. Get as clear as possible on exactly WHAT you are trying to achieve.

2. Make sure WHAT you are trying to make happen aligns with WHY you want it. When our why is out of alignment with what we are trying to gain, we will encounter more obstacles and experience less fulfillment or satisfaction if we achieve the goal.

3. With an eye on the ultimate goal, plan only the beginning or next few steps at a time. If we try to plan too far out, we are more likely to lose focus and get distracted from the necessary steps to complete our goals.